88 Things The New Moon Movie Has Taught Us
by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles
Summary: New Moon? Not educational? YEAH RIGHT!
1. 1 to 10

**Woooo! New list! Sequel to: "88 Things The Twilight Movie Has Taught Us". As usual, they're not in a particular order so don't get confused! Enjoy!**

1. It's Edward's job to protect Bella from everything...except his sister. (AND JAMES!!! 'Cause quite frankly, he did a TERRBLE job at that. Broken leg = _failure!_)

2. Jessica's cousin had leprosy. It wasn't funny.

3. Jacob: "Where have you been loca?" (DAMMIT JACOB! Either get subtitles in your scenes OR SHUT THE HELL UP!)

4. Bella: *to Quil and Embry* So you guys have girlfriends? That's awesome! Me: *to Bella* So you have a boyfriend? *holds up photo of Edward, then tears it down the middle* That's AWESOME! Bella: *bursts into tears*

5. Comparing Mike to confectionery is about the best insult Jacob can think of. (A _marshmallow?! _Seriously?!_)_

6. When Edward's looking _especially_ hot, he walks in slow motion...(Kinda like a really amazingly gorgeous turtle...)

7. Little known fact: Carlisle left the Volturi because they forced him to have girly hair. *shudders* Thank God that 'do' is all in the past now...

8. Eric cries during Shakespeare movies. (No comment...)

9. Seasons pass fast in....'Bella time'

10. There was a reason Alice didn't give Bella her REAL email address; did you SEE those messages?! Can anyone say 'depressing'?!

**Did you like? Just as good as the first one? Please let me know!**


	2. 10 to 20

**Took a while to update, huh? Yeah......sorry about that.... Two shoutouts: 1. My friend Jess (also known as**_** help-me-think-of-a-name**_** on fanfiction). :) **

**2. _Stephaniiie _she's the beeeest author ever (check out her stories) and she reads this so HI! Ha ha. Ok, Enjoy, guys. :)**

11. Renee's a crappy parent, yet an excellent present co-coordinator!

12. "Jake, you're like, buff! How did that happen?" It's called a gym Bella. Go sometime.

13. Bella: "I know what Victoria's after. Me." Don't be so self-obsessed Bella! Maybe she just likes the area! Forks is a very popular tourist destination!

14. Bella Swan IS Nigel-no-mates. Jacob: You've been lying to everyone! Charlie..... _Who else does she KNOW?! Come on Jacob! Think! ...ugh. I've got nothing. I'll just stand here and look hot. _*brood brood*

15. A certain main character who's name begins with a B and ends with Ella, has no grammar skills. Observe..... Jacob: "How many Cullens are here and how long are they staying?" Bella: "it's just Alice. And she can stay as long as she like!" LikeS! LikeS! LIKESSSSSSSSSSS!

16. Jacob feels like need to state the obvious. Jake: If you want someone to blame, how about those bloodsuckers you love so much? *and just in case she hasn't caught on yet* ...The Cullens!" Oh! Well now that we've got THAT all cleared up! I was a little confused about _which _vampires you were talking about for a while there!

17. Edward takes orders from NOBODY! Bella: "No, Edward! Don't! She'll see you!" Edward: "*walk walk*". Oh yeah. Disobedience is hot!

18. Jasper looks HILARIOUS when he attacks. Like a annoyed kitten with poofy blonde hair.

19. Bella can't stand the colour red. *driving through Italy* Bella: *hysterically* "WHY ARE THEY ALL WEARING RED!?"

20._Bella's piece of super amazing advice of the day:_ Anabolic steroids are really bad for you! _Tomorrows Advice: _Stabbing yourself in the eye is also probably not a good idea.

**Ps: Just thought I'd share, today is my birthday! So pleeeeease review! It'll be the best present ever! :) xx**


	3. 20 to 30

**_*_tactfully decides not to comment on how long its been since the last update***

**ENJOY, MY LITTLE PEACHES!!! :)**

21. Edward never wears normal clothes! Its always suits and shirts with him! Just once, I'd KILL to see him in a t-shirt with a funny slogan like: "If I'm not wasted, the day is!"

22. Bella promised she wouldn't do anything reckless. *narrows eyes* Bella lied.

23. Jessica was about to end up in an FBI interview room like some lame TV show. *cough* _S.V.U _shout out *cough*

24. Bella sometimes feels like she's forty....BUT NEVER FEAR, BELLS!Because with Neutrogena's new anti-aging lotion, your skin will look ten years younger! And if you call now, we'll throw in........ etc etc

25. Bella hits her head on a large, round, mossy rock and.......gets a line shaped cut on her forehead........ Yeah I think we all can safely say that logic is not this directors strong point.

26. Bella: "_What happened with Jasper was..._." She got a paper cut, Jasper tried to kill her and Edward pushed her into a table of glass. _"....nothing._"

27. Harry Clearwater: "_Don't worry about bears, Bella. My kung fu is strong._" Maybe so, but his fragile lil' old heart obviously wasn't....R.I.P Harry.

28. Jacob: "_Que Quowle.." _All English speaking movie goers: _We've said it once and we'll say it again, WE DEMAND SUBTITLES IN THE JACOB SCENES! _Jacob's entire fanclub (population - 3): *swoon* So romantic....

29. Bella:_ "I'm nothing! I'm human...nothing!"_ 6.5 Billion other humans on earth: _Bitch! Lets kill her!_

30. _Bella: If this is about my soul, take it! I don't want it! Bella's Soul: *sobs loudly* I'M AN ORPHAN! Me: Would someone PLEASE call the RSPCS? (Royal Society of the Prevention of Cruelty to Souls)_

**Review, or Bella will neglect YOUR soul too. Would you really want to put your dear little soul through that? Really? **


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